The Problem with Faith is Religion

I have spent the better part of my nearly 42 years believing strongly in a religion. I defiled myself repeatedly  with self loathing, condemnation and then with a reckless regard for my fellow human beings. I cleaved to my religiousity as a child clings to a baby blanket (transitional object) for comfort. I affirmed by loyalty and devotion to "the church" rebuking my sinful thoughts and deeds ever attempting to distance myself from my personal disgust and failings. This strongly held belief was simply a way of strong arming my passions or vices and imposing my worldview concerning moral living on others. Religion is the very construct that the mind imposes on faith on belief and on others. It is approaching God in a fallen state through the minds eye. The fall concerned itself more with giving the mind independence from the heart knowledge which is the mind's limited understanding.It was the abandonment of wisdom which is a function of the heart or nous which was in constant communion koinia with God and which now is exiled by the mind. The mind is self serving and fearful the heart is communal, endearing and not defensive. I have spent my life pursuing knowledge and acting in defense of my ego and sense of individuality which has left my existential self in the place of nothingness. If I go into my heart my nous and live in the moment which is not relegated to the past or the future but in true existence and being or becoming then I (WE) can commune with God the person not the impersonal force or 'act of nature'. I don't have to  impose my worldview on anyone else of any persuasion because I don't have to be right. We don't have to wage war on the world religions,sects, denominations, peoples, cultures, genders, orientations or vocations. I only have to bring myself to the now and listen and commune. I'm sorry that I have so poorly instructed and conveyed orthodoxy to my friends, family and the community at large. I practice a structured belief system who accepts the mystery of God and who has established a venue to meet Him where we are not where others think we ought to be. If there is one should the faithful should love and embrace all peoples as God reaches out to all through His Incarnation and he loved us while we were yet sinners or more to the point long before we were brought into being.