Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Git er done
Today I was able to make my pilgrimage to church. My husband was able to watch the baby and I had secured at least one ride home from vespers. Basically this is shorthand for I had over extended myself, over committed, and had to run. I was not in shape, I am not in frame of mind to run fourteen miles. I did it of course but walked on and off loathing my pitiful state more and more. I knew the only way out was to move forward, determine my direction and keep the course. There would be no turning back, no calling for a ride, only forward; one foot in front of the other. My thoughts roamed as I tried to keep focus or at least find motivation. Basically I forced myself to do it because the opportunity arose. The weather which was a bit warm will only get hotter and then a vespers run will not be feasible. It would appear that the effort put into these inconsistent sporatic runs is wasted but these experiences are never mindless or pointless. I know that these seemingly meaningless challenges build me up and make me stronger. It shakes off the laziness and reminds me to move. I don't know why this was so difficult. I understand why my body was uncoordinated. My gait was sluggish as my core is severely weakened from under-use. How little does one have to run not to be a runner? Church was a blessing although my metatarsal on my left foot was searing. Bible study was dominated by a catechumen who recited at nauseam heretical beliefs and unknowlingly his baptist background. He is knows a lot of stuff but his filter is off. He resides just north of where I live so he offered me a ride which meant that my two alternate rides wouldn't travel 30+ miles out of their way. Never again next time one of the girls will do just fine. I know how unappreciative I sound but this is suppose to be honest. God bless him but he talked incessantly about his journey to orthodoxy. The worst part for me even in expressing this scenario is that he is very nice and polite and kind but what an annoyance. He taught me to give pause when speaking long enough to account for the other person. I totally believe that I have been (even recently) that annoying to others. God bless them all.