reaction formation is classic for undoing the wrongs of primary objects

If conduct (behavior), cognition (thoughts/obsession) and emotion (feelings/mood) are driven by an external source and thereby quite possibly contrary to one's truer nature; in short, if decisions are essentially reactive then one would have to delve deeper ontologically to the source of such a prolonged pervasive influence.  It is not enough to argue overcompensation for prudish parents or hung up confessors. Ego dystonic actions or belief systems are the result of an underlying trauma or conflict. The anxiety which results from basic approach avoidance can bring with it the most primitive defense mechanisms. For example reaction formation is classic for undoing the wrongs of primary objects. Discussing marriage as if it is simply a sublimation of the sex drive is absurd both to the layman and clergy. More importantly it helps no one. To throw caution to the wind is reckless and is dangerous for the participant. To argue that pornography for example is useful despite the widespread trafficking abuse and exploitation because parents and church guardians fail to explain the mechanics of sex is a non argument. The rationalization for such an education is faulty and primitive. The celebration of the sexes can be done with proper discernment where the individuals are not objectified and the union loving. The couple learns together not in a made dash for climax but overtime. More damage has been perpetrated against unsuspecting teens by overstating or understating the importance or expectations of sexual relations. The marital bed doesn't dispense with the emotional baggage we carry but it is a perfect forum to explore one's journey to God with a partner; a life partner. Health and happiness are not found in the climax. In fact the marital bed is generally the toxic waste field where shame and sorrow are left to be masked by sensuality.