Sunday, June 7, 2009

comparisons and insecurity

I feel quite good about my level of fitness. I believe I have an accurate understanding of my talent, potential and limitations. I can distinguish between innate ability and limitations due to restrictions on my training. I am not driven to cross train or do core workouts. I almost never work out to the numbers but loosely follow guidelines. I understand the return I get is based mostly on my effort and advancing age. I also readily acknowledge that I am not athletically inclinded as it were. Having said all this most times I feel fit enough to handle what I take on and seldom find myself in the back of the pack. Now maybe I run with a motley crew but I seriously doubt that. I tend to mingle with type A personalities so it is as if their anal tendencies keep me on task. The issue I have been beating around is how when I brake away from my comfort zone that I start to feel as if it's all smoke and mirrors. These reality checks are beneficial in that it requires real honesty. They also have a strong negative pull which could easily lead to indifference and avoidance which is not rational or reasonable. So today I had good faith intentions of running and didn't. I chose a cat nap to a run, then running an errand to a run and then a snack to a run. So tomorrow I will have to make time to run for sure. Maybe I just need weekends off. I have been incredibly sore from housework/remodeling. Now that's cross training. I suppose so long as these lapses don't become habitual they serve a purpose which is not necessarily counter productive or pleasurable. It's important to analyze what drives us to and from what is beneficial and worthy of our time. Knowing what triggers us can help us take better control of our behavior which often helps to take hold of our thought. When I am training faithfully it takes time yes...but it also removes concerns which preoccupy the thoughts of others. Food as energy and a body as transportation resolve body image concerns of many and dieting habits of others. I never seem to have such concerns because my behavior shifts the focus of what is important and necessary to continue to perform my training and runs.

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