think think think and of course dress well

this was my best run in a long time. i ran alone and just wanted to open up my legs a little bit. the good news is that i didn't hurt anywhere and my legs never got tired. it is a determination factor. if i ran this pace for the marathon i would qualify for boston with over a minute and a half to spare (8.43). of course i don't think i am fit enough to maintain that pace for the full marathon so i will run my best without torturing myself. a 9.09 min mile and i will clear the four hour marker. i think that is reasonable and respectable. it will shave off 32 min from my last marathon. easing off the mileage this past week certainly has helped my preformance. i shouldn't be surprised as rest and recovery are the flip side of working hard. i have been thinking about color schemes for the race. today i tried a new sports bra but i think i need the smaller size. it was comfortable and didn't bother me once i stopped thinking about it. am i a girl or what!!!

Mia, Mommy and Mileage

I took mia out for the local loop. i have been incorporating this short run into the core of my training because it keeps me moving without putting too much strain on my right leg. pushing the stroller helps to increase the intensity. i had no ipod no watch just me and the kid with the setting sun. pretty soon all the Christmas lights will be down so i tried to appreciate them. the marathon is coming up and i'm so glad that my legs are feeling stronger and by that i mean less strained. i know now that if i take it easy on my legs then i'll be healthy enough to complete the marathon respectfully. i am no longer chasing times as it's not my style. time is a kind of benchmark for sure but its not the final determination of success or failure. for all the worry and preoccupation many competitors have, i don't think they fair any better then i do and i judge the run based on how i felt. it's true if i feel horrible and the time is good then i know how hard i was working but secretly i would prefer to enjoy the run and have more breathing room with the minutes.

Sunday at Starkey with Carin

this was a unique run for several reasons. first and least of all i don't know how far we really went and i cut the run from 12 to about 8 to allow my body to heal. lastly and more importantly it was the first time that Carin and i ran together and by together i mean alone. for several months we had begun the long runs together and then she would turn back with Cherise while Kathryn and Jenny and i continued. because the early part of the long runs were always in a group i never really got to know carin. i would just listen and jump in every now and then but usually i would listen or zone out. I am the late comer to the group and very often do not know the people or activities they reference. well talk about a diamond in the ruff. i learned more about her life and what drives her for the first time i got to know some of the person. so the lesson here is simple take the time to get to know the individuals around you. they will surprise you with their knowledge and perspective. carin is helping me embark on my new adventure of tri's!!! i hope i can return the favor.

Christmas lull

this was the slowest run of the training. i felt sluggish and lacked coordination. i will need to get at least another run in before Sunday. merry Christmas to everyone. may the blessings of the Christ Child our Lord and Savior be with you all.

and then there were twenty no more

today was the last 20 for this training. i was the first one at the park which is unusual. actually it only happened once before, the first time i ran with the girls. the run itself was uneventful except for three deer the last three miles and the card playing. that's right jenny and kathryn played cards. i just run. cherise you should have stuck around. jenny i can't wait to see the photos (yes, there were pictures too). my legs are pretty fatigued right now i think it's because i went home showered and then laid down instead of going to church. movement would have made me less stiff i think. anyway the holidays are right around the corner and tomorrow my family is hosting a holiday party for close friends. i think lamb will be on the menu. anyway... a very merry Christmas to everyone and a healthy new year. "Where is he born king of the Jews we have seen his star and come to worship him".

...is 18 rest?

i headed out at almost five pm and finished 2:45.47 hours later. my intention was 4. the thought of 8 i couldn't bear and my 6 mile course was not appealing. as it turned out i ran and ran and ran. from my home to seven springs blvd, to keystone/mcmullen, to 580 onward mease dunedin hospital to visit my father in law. i called my husband from tire kingdom, just north of landsbrook, and told him to get ready and pack the kids to go visit his dad and i'd meet them there. with no water or fuel, this was definately something i felt, in the moment, called to do. just my ipod, my prayer, my intention and determination. i have learned not to talk about what i will do but to just do.

i drank from the water fountain at tire kingdom (gross). then my husband stopped and met me twice where i drank some flavored h20 and took one dollar for a candy bar that i could pick up at mile 15. i purchased a snickers from a drive-thru convenience store ( i find that funny). i was driven to run. my father-in-law can't hardly breath or move; but i can and did, somehow for the both of us. the last three miles seemed like six; not knowing any of the distances until the return trip in the car. it was my time with God and it was all i felt i could do to really help. i hoped and believed that the effort of my running made my prayer more sincere.

inspired in part by saint christopher who before his conversion was a cannibal and a giant of a man. he carried travelers (for a price) across the river (or lake) i can't recall. then one day he carried a small child. he couldn't hardly manage the weight he felt. he didn't understand why this giant of a person (think like andrea the giant) was so weighed down and exhausted. the folk law explains then when he looked up at this small child who was heavier then any man he carried it was Jesus. (think of the apostle paul his on the way to damascus). Saint Christopher then converted to Christianity. He is traditionally depicted carrying a small Jesus. he is also depicted with the face of a dog or donkey because he was so ugly. i felt that i could at least in spirit, carry my bony butt, father in law, with me on this journey. afterall st joseph carried the Savior. the greek people call this type of prayer or commitment a "tama". see you all on sunday! what is the mileage? by the way, you all did great at your half. i can't wait for the marathon when we can all do our very best.

if you can't train be well rested

in long distance running, if you can't train, be well rested. this brings me much needed comfort. last weeks mileage was way down. the great part is that my Achilles tendinitis is non existent and my right leg is so much improved. the down time helped my body for sure. forced to take time off for non running related issues let my body heal and has given me the opprotunity to get my focus and attitude back on the run and not on the injuries. it was great running on sat night for a short tempo run that didn't start with limping or pain. today will be a run day for sure even if i have to use my treadmill. i used to love it but when the weather is seasonable ideal for running being inside is a bummer. getting back to reading the bible and listening to His word. it has been a while. being churched and well studied go hand in hand.

arggg

running this week has been quite the challenge. the mileage went way down because of an illness in the family. i ran a temp run this evening 3.9 miles and tomorrow i will fit my long run in on the way to church. i have to get it in when i can. the half marathon is off for me. i wish the trinity girls the best. run swiftly catch the wind.

zoooommmmm!!!!!!!!!!

this turned out to be a great run despite the heat. i have stayed on my course: to use these shorter runs to improve form and turnover rate. it took focus and some self talk to remember to keep the pace up and not settle into a slower pace. negative splits always a must. i limped the first 1/2 mile or so. there are less then 30 days until this next marathon. the half is on Sunday if i run it and this time gives me some new and interesting choices. i guess the question is how hard to i want to work and would i just rather enjoy the process and not worry so much about t-i-m-e.

limp limp limp

this morning turned out to be a fine run but required more focus then past runs because i wasn't sure how long we would actually be running. turning back before leaving the park and doubling back at the end changed how i broke down the mileage. of course focusing on the distance, a mile is a mile, no matter where helped. i limped through the first four miles or so. the comforting part about this run is that i am consistently running an average of 9.26 miles. why is this good? well its good because they are relaxed and enjoyable. there is not much work or strain happening on cardio or muscle fatigue. i still have to be careful of my ibitol band issue. it has snuck up and making itself known. i also need to focus on speed during shorter runs when my leg is better, to improve form and to be careful i don't settle into a shuffle pace. the deer where beautiful today. for those of you not from the area we run amongst deer, 'wild' bore, alligators, birds, snakes ( i hate them) coyotes and of course your generic raccoons, armadillos and bugs. thankfully we mostly see deer!!!

enjoy relax regroup reovery

this morning i headed out wanting to continue to ride this wave of good runs. i know i am peaking in the mileage for the Disney marathon which i was feeling overwhelmed by two weeks ago. i got a hold of my intellect and just trained. this week is a 16 mile taper and then next is twenty and then taper for the race so i am benefitting psychologically and physically from the training and more importantly from my self direction. i am not committed to any one training plan i am loosely following 3. i make sure to get the long run in according to jenny's schedule and then check out the minimum from my last training log and the suggested from active trainer. i have been able to run more effortlessly and more relaxed. i have fit urnning into my life and brought my real life into the run. when i trust my intuitive running the part that puts me in touch with my body and my mind and soul then i can push, when i need to and get what i need. sometimes it's not the time or the distance, it's perception and attitude which accounts for success. i read a lot about running and religion and often times when i know what's coming my way, i can go with the flow, relax, regroup, recover and even enjoy the ride. during the turkey trot (which i hated i always hate 10ks too short for me to feel good) i was working hard to cover the distance because i ran it correctly. i couldn't pass people the last 3 miles because everyone is working at the same fitness levels where you start is generally where you end up. having that information earlier would have helped me to understand that the signals that i thought were negative, were really signs or indications that i was doing everything right: naturally. trusting in ourselves and listening to the voice of God who guides our every step will get us to the finish line every time. Running for the right reasons for physical and metal health and proper attitude helps us in the real human race: Running for the crown of incorruption.

going off road with garmin and stavro (revised) 7.32 miles

this could have been a great relaxed playful run. i broke out the bulky garmin and just went out. i didn't worry about what route i took i just ran where i was intersted to go. i didn't even plan block to block. usually not knowing where i'm headed or how far would be a downside but not this evening. one issue though stavro is insistend to come who knew it would further and different then past runs was complaining after 3 miles it was too far or he was too tired. he bummed me out. i told him to stop complaining he was riding a bike after all. i now know 3 is really his mental max. i didn't take the baby because i didn't want to push i just wanted to run. 9.30 mile was so relaxing i was strong even though i was frustrated. stress is very draining. i could have easily run 9.15 or 9.00 without 'working'. i would have really liked to get to eight miles.

cool breezy easy

i ran with stavro and mia. it is nice and cool out. i didn't hardly break a sweat. my run started with a limp so i took it easy real easy a 10.07 pace for 3.37 miles. i build up slowly from a long run to the next to minimize additional tear down. i'm still running and running well during the long runs so i must be working for me. still considering the iron horse 50 miler for feb.

20 miler pacer for marathon

gearing up for Christmas and the marathon. trying to remember what year this photo is from. no clue. but i digress...today was another great long run. i thought a lot about the ultra marathon that i am contemplating in February. i have to do some more research on the race, the course and the demands. back to today... it was a blustery day and it was a nice compliment to the mild weather. i figured at about mile 14 that this would be the best indicator on how i will do marathon day so i picked up the pace a little. my pace was 9.26 and it was very comfortable and steady. during race day i believe that my pace will be much improved by 15 seconds per mile on average. the thrill of the day and the excitement will definitely change it from a leisurely run to wanting to be more competative. at today's pace i will not break four hours but i believe that i can do it race day. i missed finishing with the girls. i waited a while and then had to get home for the baby and the kids. we missed church :( stavro is not happy with me as he sees church as a top priority. i have to see what mileage is next week and i may run it on Saturday so he doesn't miss two weeks in a row. as a side note i really like these new sneakers brooks ghost. they have a different fit and my foot hurt some but is much improved.

twilight

what a great easy run. a 9.26 pace while pushing the baby and watching stavro on his bike. what made this run so good was the darkness and cool night air. i didn't have all the visual cues to get me to speed up or slow down. i just ran. i ran the way my son rode his bike relaxed, laid back and excited to be playing; based purely on how it felt. mia has learned to chill and enjoy the ride. she checks everything out especially her brother who wore a yellow reflective vest. it was about the activity and the connection between my children and me. it was magical without all the hassel and stress that too often comes with training. the christmas lights are already up on some of the homes and the run was relaxed and conversational. it was just under three the home loop. it was the best one with he kids. it was adventurous. F-U-N!!!

turkey trot (3:40.57 marathon pace)

i hated everything about this run except my PR of 52.28. my ipod was dead, my shirts had to be changed around during the race, i couldn't find the mile markers and of course my watch didn't work. i must have pushed the wrong button. i didn't have any point in the race that felt good except the very end when i hit the padding at the finish and saw my time. i even thought about quitting running period. when i saw my time i realized it was work especially with those hills at the beginning before i warmed up and the one toward the end. glad its over. Happy Thanksgiving!! I train for endurance running not speed racer.

stroller, stavro and sidewalks

yesterday's run:

i ran with mia and stavro just to take the pressure of time or gait off the table. i just need to get miles in little by little. it was a nice cool run for the kids.

racing: running's ruin

(i am editing this post because as you will read it felt really hard. i just did the math and the time is below race pace. i feel better but should it matter?!!)

i finally got new sneakers!!! brooks ghost. i like them there is adrenalin if these are not enough support. it was good run in a new shoe a better shoe. my metatarsals got a little numb but i think my laces were too tight.

now on to today's topic. i felt well enough to get a short run in and i like planning to run five days a week especially because i don't cross train. i ran hard, rather it felt hard and overly focused and stressful. i thought about everyone's gait but my own. i like to run because it's playful it's time for me and for my friends old and new. i get to be a kid again breathing deeply and feeling younger; not middle aged. but when i push myself trying to get faster, i get ahead of myself and then i'm not enjoying it anymore. i am terrible on short distances and have forgotten that i am a distance runner the further the better i do. now i know why i haven't done a turkey trot in 3 years. i have to be respectful of my run, my path, my way. my way is the one of a path, less traveled and with a lot more weeds.

hips, toes and calves ...oh my!

i was a little pensive about today's run because of my increasing injury prone body. i had discomfort the last mile in my hip so i backed off which is totally counter intuitive for me. that and everyone else took off making me feel much slower. what doesn't kills us makes us stronger. i need new shoes for sure. all of them are totally broken down and they are breaking me down. all in all it was good to know that i could not only get thru the run which was critical but that it would continue to be totally enjoyable. it was a bear getting to church on time and i think the priest spoke about tardiness all for my benefit i think the girls might agree with him as i ran late today. sorry y'all. ok see you all at the turkey trot? let me know keep in touch!!

dead end

i decided i'd run an easy 3-5 which ended up being three for two reasons: 1-my son road his bike along side of me and keeping track of him and the traffic lights was too complicated. that and he wanted to chat the entire time (God bless him) and 2- i began running with a limp. that's right a limb; the side of my right leg just below my knee had problems. my right foot between the 3rd and 4th metatarsals numb and then pain. i can tolerate both these discomforts so long as they don't get worse. i ran in my nikes because my brooks are shot i might as well run barefoot on granite. i am slightly worried especially now that i am getting excited about race day. i am trying to build momentum into my training and remember what i enjoyed so much. my eating habits are getting a complete overhaul as i have found out that i am low on zinc and phosphorous and magnesium and probably iron. since i have modified or radicalized my eating my skin is doing much better. yes i still have a zit the size of Jupiter on my face but that will go away as my dry chapped face is clearing up. God i used to have adorable feet (where did they go?)! my mood is elevated despite the physical set backs and i wish i could get to a running shop grab a pair of brooks and some jell packs. i have only two left and i need to get gas and Gatorade before tomorrows run otherwise i'll have to wake up as if the run were at six. yadi da da.

finally 6 miles and the fourth photo blog game

i am revamping my nutritional approach to living and running. more whole grains and tofu less lamb. i was glad to get my run out of the way today. it was a beautiful time at 4pm with all the school buses and traffic. my primary focus is to retrain by brain to understand that slow and steady should still be challenging. the turn over rate is my main focus as i have been checking out everyone's form. i am working on a hybrid. see you all Sunday in case i don't run tomorrow which is tempting.

what if EVERYONE else is right?

i hadn't thought of that. i can't get geared for the treadmill at night and can't manage to get out of the house. my hip problem turning into a foot issue and with 16 on Sunday with a build up from here i can't afford to sweat it. i have never been too mechanical in my training. just run move get moving and for me this has proven difficult. what if speed drills and tempo runs and negative splits and lactate thresholds and vo2 and easy days with cross training is the way to go? then i'm screwed.

it's done!!!!!

sometimes running just sucks. sometimes it is too hard. i feel less then stealth; talk about bloat. i am waterlogged and sluggish. Mantra: "Even good athletes have bad days. Even good runners have days when they don't want to run". Good runs may not happen. Stay on task. trust the peaks and lows. Focus on the big picture. take the time to cherrish what really matters and remember to get to the ressurection you have to go the way of the cross.

just for jenny: running is ugly

• today is my rest day and have a real problem with my butt. the socket where my right leg meets my hip is in trouble. any suggestions?? i slept with a heating pad and have taken my anti inflammatory and ibuprofen.
  
• now for jenny (and everyone else) this is active trainer thoughts for the day: Coach's Notes:Running Ugly. Even good athletes have bad days. Even good runners have days when they don't want to run. The closer it gets to race day the more pressure you may feel to make every workout a great workout. It may not happen. Stay with your program. Trust in your training. Don't worry about the quality of any particular workout. Focus on the quality of the days and weeks and months that you've already put in.

booty call

the favorite part of my run was heading out from the park to the suncoast (north) a doe ran past quickly followed by a buck who was in hot pursuit. his antlers were at least 18 inches. i saw many deer but never a buck before. the birds would fly and land just in front of our path and then fly ahead. talk about a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. reminded constantly of our Lord who is more then wonderful and who is the grand creator. the entire run was great except for the last mile where i torqued by hip joint and right now i'm have a heating pad on my rump. i am so glad that the run was effortless and how relaxed i felt. i had no stress or anything negativity on this run save the last half or so. i realize that the marathon will be as successful as i make it. i can run competitively. the last few long runs have been effortless and joyful entertaining and blissful if i want more from the time i have to work. i enjoy having the girls to run with. they make my time more enjoyable and have added something special to this process.

photos are where its at...except today

i realized some readers never visit the actual blog page but view the post with another website. a picture says a thousand words and my pictures are more often then not, the most interesting part. i can definitively assert that you will get to know me better, off the mile, by viewing the unabridged edition of my blog (the one with the photos). moving right along...today i ran with the cross country team. it was a six miler and i kept the time to 9.07 per mile. the great part is that aside from some lingering aches and twinges from Sunday it was comfortable. my cardio was not taxed. i can't say that i enjoyed the run but i did relish not worrying about time or distance and just doing it. it is my pace, stride and gait. it is what is unique time as a runner and not me as compared with other runners. i think that this is important to emphasize good running good training can be hijacked by the very people we turn to for their moral support and encouragement and running buddy time. when i start comparing myself to other and even some of you then i lose a pieces of the magic of running. I could have talked through the run so i am hopeful about a sub 4 hour marathon. i am still not discussing qualifying for Boston. i just think it would be insane to feel bad about running 26.2 miles. i will run my best race i am more prepared then last time and have more life experience to push me. it has been nice not to have the miles looming like the mob or the gadets monitoring my time like the gestapo. race day, is really everytime we run, on all the days. race day is made possible by running through thr ruts and loniless, when no one is watching ,when nobody cares, and even when people find it inconvenient. runners are made on the run, all the runs even the one's we dread. it is how character is determined its how you behave when no one is watching. "let thy word be a light unto my path".

gathering momentum slowly

I bought some new running clothes yesterday, some very loud running clothes. All in an effort to help me to look 'fine' and more importantly to feel fine when i run. that was all for nothing because today i ran on my treadmill with a mirror to the side and front and center. I jiggled all over the place and my face well...it loosely fits my skull. suffice it to say that things are not as beautiful in living color. I have to put my ego mania aside especially now that my inferiority complex is in high gear, and remember that beauty comes from within. oh no i'm screwed. a day late and a dollar short. i was able to get 3.515 in today and the searing in my lungs was enough to make me forget at least for a while about the fact that i don't think me feet were the only parts of me hitting the ground. on a serious note i am soooo glad its over i don't have to run for 9.5 hours and then i'm off with the cross country team for 6miles. i am learning when to listen to my body and when to tell it to shut up and take a number. God bless us everyone.

snap crackle pop and brain surgery?!!

ok ok things are not this bad. but it got your attention.

muscle fiber generally a quiet type of body part. less known for its intrusive sounds unlike other more noisy parts.

well not anymore. just curious... are muscles suppose to sound like the percussion section of the middle school band??? mine do. remember the candy "rocket something" that would pop in your mouth? there was a rumor that a kid died ingesting them (but i digress). they were sort of a cross between tasty Mexican jumping beans and Chiclets gum? (did you also know that chicle is how you pronounce gum in Greek ). Ok i think i just dated myself and you are all too young to remember any of this anyway try and stay with me... back on point... if you do know what i was referring to and have bothered to try and follow my loose associations my legs are crackling like old kindling. when they are not doing a fine impression of rubber bands.

a house with the second floor not so great right now.

oh yeah last thing, considering i'm quite the glutton, i'll be at cross country practice wed. morning :)

first twenty of the season

the weather couldn't have been more cooperative. i on the other hand had to stop twice to make number one. the second have of the run was much better as it usually is. i finished the last 4ish miles stronger. i always have a sense that i need to spend it on the road and i do. i haven't figured out yet if it is economical as i never really come in more then 15 sec or ahead of the girls. in fact last week i may have been overtaken. i took the splits from kathryn because i'm needy and ill prepared. i didn't fret about this run and surprisingly nothing really hurt. my cardio was in great shape and if my legs could tolerate it; if my form didn't suffer; if i didn't look like i had occupational therapy as a child (i didn't); then i could run stronger and faster. the breakdown in form tells me a lot. of course when you are running, and your legs don't move much, it's not about pushing through pain; its about an inability for them to comply. i hope that these runs push back my lactate threshold. and for me there are no ice baths not cold anything. i look forward to a nice hot shower. i got home and took the kids to church and then took a nap with the baby. thanks to everyone who lets me tag along for the runs. training with each of you brings something special to my training which extends beyond running. i still have reservations about only running 7 next week. i was thinking more like 14.

runner's block no more

the run i have been putting off turned out to be great. i finally found my pace and gait. my rhythm was superb after the first mile. i simply told myself to deal with it and i just flew. i opened up my legs and let them carry me across the pavement past the street lights. i felt the cool breeze and watched the sun set. i don't want to over emphasize the environment because this run was really about what happened on the inside. i know that runner high is not provable or quantifiable beyond self report but i can definitively state that running definately improves my mood.

committments only please

running is a commitment to a better life. a healthier more fulfilling life. it's no guarantee but it affords me more control, to manage my stress and waistline. it gives me time to do challenging things consistently and to have a workplace for my ideas and concerns. it's my time for personal reflection and this is good. it's not always easy, usually it's not. i can even approach it with a a generalized ambivalence. However it is the one activity which regularly provides opportunity for being in the greater, broader, presence of God's creation; in the place of self appreciation and awareness with the communion of mind body and spirit. The exchange and interplay between my mind and body the presence of my spirit/soul as good steward is that transcental moments. It's one sacred space for praise and presence. Worship is reserved for church. It provides the time which gets stretched somehow to accommodate all my thoughts and feelings and beliefs and which connects all my parts. The flow, that timing, that sense of acceptance and understanding it can be understood in terms of being driven by a difficult task to a higher purpose to contemplate the supernatural the mundane and with the need to press onward. It is very personal and not easily explained to non-doers.

dead legs

i can't believe the fatigue in my legs the last mile and a half. they got heavier and heavier. it moved up my legs. i kept thinking the wall is only as big as i think it is. i kept thinking the only shame would be not to move through it not to wait for my body to adapt. i suppose the buzz from this weekend is over and i might feel just a little trapped by my ambition. i have to consider my gait and think smooth and fluid. there were many lessons on the mile today. even though there was the wave of fatigue and resistance it washed past it didn't stop me. giving up is not one of the options moving forward is the only choice. the point is in the not minding and not fearing the difficulty or heaviness. i am strong and resilient and if all the runs were easy then there would be no lesson; just a hedonistic fest.

18 and optimistic

i wish i had time to blog yesterday. i was feeling really good after yesterday's run. of course i felt nauseated and slept for an hour. after that i felt great. i had a wedding to get to and i felt a sense of accomplishment throughout the evening. i was kind of glad that both events were behind me. now i have a little time to exhale. no thoughts about a run today because today is my only official off day. i am amazed with how much of running is subjective. it's usually how we are feeling about the run and not the run itself. yesterday took effort for a longer time than my previous run and yet it was smooth and controlled. i understood what to do and did it. i am tabling the boston issue until the day of the marathon. i don't want to do all these great things and end up feeling badly. if i qualify, which is not likely, but is possible, then i'll be exhilarated. in any case i want to celebrate the event without disappointment and with bragging (humbly) rights that come with training. remember life is a road race; run the good race faithfully.

128.93 Miles and bumming

i have run almost 130 miles this month and i feel like a slacker. i don't feel hopeful about the marathon and i'm generally bumming about running. irrational i know. this is an odd place for me because generally i am very accepting of my short comings. anyway it was good to get out there and run today and i have to stop thinking when i run and just do it. also i am taking the boston qualifier goal off the table. it doesn't seem feasible and i think it would be terrible to run a marathon and feel badly about the outcome. determination comes when things are difficult and less fun. keep on truckin.

heading inside

i don't have a run for this entry not yet anyway. this will probably end up as part of something tomorrow. i will not be running with the team but will do a six in the early morning on my own. i need the time alone to get back to basics and remember why i push and why i do this crazy sport. it's because it's all about me. selfish i know but it's needed. i just wish it made me a better human being not just more fit.

burn out

today i feel burned out. i ran with mia for three miles at a 9.24 pace. running with her makes every run harder more like work. i will probably cringe when i re read this in a month or so. i think that i am just in a rut with the run. this too shall pass. tomorrow is 8 with the cross country team. i hope i don't wimp out and do just 6.

freezing frozen cold

today kathryn and i ran an impromptu 6 miles. do i have to add how cold it was i didn't know we had wind chill in florida. it got really bad after the run it was impossible to warm up. i finally jumped into a hot hot burning shower to shake the chill. i have been thinking about the training and coming to that place where you realize its a real commitment. when i saw the 18 for this week it makes me wish i had run more on sunday. i have to just buckle up i'm in for a wild ride. i have been taking mia out for some small runs and it will help me continue to work harder and include her. i am no longer doing the speed drills with cross country team because of the cold and scheduling. if i decided to do some i'll use my treadmill.

hot and sweaty

today was just hard. i took mia to starkey for 3 or 4. i ended up with 3. its is much hotter when running then when thinking about running. my time wasn't bad 27.38 while pushing my bundle of love but i was feeling it. i recently checked out the mileage from jenny and i am drenched in anxiety. i will take it one mile and one step at a time. it is a must if i am serious about the possibility of a boston qualification. that and something about being lukewarm and the marathon vomiting me up. ok ok not funny but you know me i can't leave any biblical teaching out. its a moral imperative.

and then it was ten

it was mutually decided that running in dark isolated areas: not a great idea. it is always important to listen to that feeling you get that tells you 'this is not smart'. kathryn and i did that today and God only knows what tragedy we unwittingly avoided. we also mutually decided that 15 was too much and ten miles was more suited to our schedules. the only negative i felt great not tired when i got in the car. i also will note that you would not have found me unlocking the car to run some more. homeward bound.

faith, strollers and fertilizer

serveral ideas occured to me today. i have become a mile junkie and on a more serious note how some may find my blog preachy. to be perfectly honest, others relationhip with God, is none of my business. that being said, my journey is, and in the same way so is my expression of it. if my view brings individuals closer to truth, wonderful! if not it's not it wasn't intention from the start. I do feel responsible not to hide my lamp under the table. nothing has improved the quality of my life more then God. my only real agenda is self expression.

moving on... running and perhaps sports in general help to create and foster the very skills that enable us to be successful in other areas of our life. it is also my belief that success in any arena without faith and Christian guiding prinicples may not be totally fruitless in the flesh but such skill would not translate into other areas of life like family and personal fulfillment. success in any arena should be tempered by a worldview whose guiding principle includes a loving God.

lastly if you're still reading... i took mia out for her first jog in her ironman stroller. aside from a few adjustments to the stroller and learning to run without the use of my arms, it seems to be a great addition to my training and day with her.

remember that failure is the fertilizer for future success. humility, not humiliation, is one key to success. i'm just saying.

anticipatory anxiety

nothing can screw up a perfectly good run then worrying about the next run. it seems so obvious but try as a i might and bam i'm thinking contemplating and sometimes dreading. sometimes i am concerned a good running experience won't translate to the next. obsurd. granted. i am running progressively better and i am learning more and more what works and what doesn't. i don't want running to dominate but facilitate my life. i'm just saying.

99.7%

99.7 that's the amount of effort i was told to run my last 100. who came up with that number? encumbered with stats can be a downer. every run becomes about speed and performance rather then remaining in the moment of activity and enjoying it for its very nature. running is a holy experience as we run upright with the dignity bestowed to each of us. but i digress... i am at a point where i don't want to worry how i compare to other people. i want to run and enjoy it and trainer should make that experience better. i just want to continue on the path and i maintain the path by using it.

why run

today's run was uneventful. what is noteworthy was the conversation post run. Kathryn and i had a great conversation about the merits of running and the dynamics of friendship. that is far more important the my spilts or the weather (both of which were fine). the merit of running goes beyond vanity or even the buzz. it gives direction and a path to practice good biblical virtues and codes of conduct. it is a reinforcing measure that enables me to stay on the good course to practice patience and obedience and endurance and determination and ....

surrendering to the technology

it is a bit frustrating that my first entry would have to be on learning that i can't really control the gadgets. it seemed as if everyone one's stuff was working half way. i admire people who just run and don't worry. they train like i train, harder even, but they are not all hung up on time or exact anything. of course i don't mistaken that for anything less competative or challenging then constantly looking at the numbers. numbers seem to be the distraction lately. i am grateful to the crew of women who have welcomed me into their ranks thanks so much. maybe that's the best part of running, friends and the run; not all the stats. i'm just saying.