Sunday, September 20, 2009

Just Me and My Shadow

I failed to mention yesterday that while I was running amidst all the wildlife and occasional  cycle screaming by I was really thinking contemplating in a way new to me. I tossed the clock/watch and only let the path lead the way to the end and back. Like a labyrinth put before me I ran with my shadow and as the run progressed and the direction changed so too the position or placement of my shadow. I think I may have even said these words out loud "come run with me". It is a mystical time to step outside one's self by going deeper. There were intruding thoughts at times like the cross country meet occurring a few miles off within the park. They served as distractions and allowed for mental breaks for time outs. There was no fatigue physically, mentally or spiritually. What was important was each time I was brought back to the task at hand not just the run, it is never really just about the run but unity and purpose the run gives me. The connection and the opening of the lines of communication between my selves and the focus on my Creator. Not having a watch and not being able to tell how well I really did is a peculiar thing. I did great what does the time matter? I stopped for water, two potty breaks and as the trail meandered, naturally I kept moving. It was not daunting or burdensome. I wanted to run twently but my husband explained that "normal people don't run twenty if they are not training for something". I wanted him to understand that I wanted to because I am able. Anyone can accomplish incredible tasks when done at the right pace. I always want to be race ready. The Strider Group keep track of their upcomming races and they seem puzzled to learn that I am not registered for one. All the world is not a stage, but a roadrace.
P.S. Why does there have to be some judgment cast on my performance? What is all this measuring up and comparing times and distances and athletic builds?  And yet even as I write this a secretly wish I knew my time. I have a long, long way to go.

*Today I heard Mitlon died yesterday. Memory eternal. He was a gentle man he loved his wife that was obvious.

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