A close person to me has recently undergone a tremendous epiphany as if a theophany could be a small matter. This person now transfigured individual had practiced for nearly a decade, the art and habit of being in a perpetual state of fear and superstition. A devout, responsible, caring family member and practicing Orthodox Christian; would worry enough for everyone and go to any expense monetary or emotional to save those around her from ill.
The words "God forbid" and "God willing" were precursors and dismissals for every paragraph or thought. When faced with the real possibility of having cancer, almost in what seemed like only moments the scales where removed form her eyes. She has had a real on the road to Damascus experience. She has become ten years younger and despite the concern for her health she is calm and a wealth or font of strength. She has decided to drop her boulder and is now unshackled loosed from obsession. Liberated she is freed to discuss and plan to care for herself. She can remake herself and love without all strain and drain. "There is no fear in love".
While at a Christian gathering today I had occasion to inquire about a relative of a member. This other woman has a chronic illness which although not life threatening has consumed her to the point of exhaustion. I asked this friend 'what would she be like without her illness?" "Who would she be in Publix if she were well?" There came no answer. She has lost her marriage, her children and soon her job.
We have the propensity to make room for our illnesses and neurosis our limitations. We don't seek to overcome but to compensate and accommodate them. We invite unknowing them to come and abide in our lives and we accommodate them completely. Do not my brothers and sisters conflate your illness or short comings with you. Do not enmesh those into the fabric of your lives.
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